a thing (5)

I look out the window

to collect evidence
and save in a folder marked
“the why and why not and what of it”

for me to reference

while I'm around

when those thoughts land to sink me

"ah" "what have you done"

I am no doer

I am a portal

in any case, look at this folder

this small collection

look

so many ways to enjoy a tea

so many ways to stand watching

look at these three riding pillion to their lives

/deaths

their will their way their stupidity

look at this uncle look at that child look at her absorb that look in his eyes

look there is boredom

right next to glee

look if you can, at pain overlaid, 

can you bear it

patterns of pain and worry and fear

contrasted with laughter and grief and prayer

maybe don't look directly at the hope of it all

look at this silly ridiculous dog

my heart is a puddle 

my mind 

is an other matter

a folder

for my children to open
on days they have questions
and I’m not around

look at me hoping it helps